Positive Words and Inspiring Support
|Posted on October 22, 2015 at 9:30 AM||comments (0)|
It can be quite complicated with tons of choices. Just look down the cereal aisle...Yikes.
So why not strive to keep life simple, as best as you can.
This applies to planning your wedding day, as well as, living your life as a married couple.
I see so many couples wanting to do it all, have it all, have many parts and details to their ceremony, that by the time I see them in front of me, they're exhausted and stressed out. Now, I'm no Einstein. Yet it seems to me that to please everyone else and to plan beyond the beyond, doesn't serve anyone.
Your wedding day is meant to be a celebration of your love as a married couple - not as an entertainment venue. Although some will disagree, I know and that's okay. If you have the time, the energy, and the money, make it as extravagant as you like.
Simplicity is one of the secrets to the success of anything....business, weddings, love, life, a dinner party.
Before you go and 'do it all', see if you and your loved one can just take some deep breaths together (yes, seriously, breathing helps), before you put the pen to the task of signing this and that. Look into each others' eyes. Ask yourselves 'what is the most important aspect of this ceremony (or this dinner party, etc.)'; what do we have the time to do, what do we want, how can we simplify, simplify, simplify.
|Posted on September 12, 2015 at 8:35 AM||comments (0)|
Seeing eye to eye, like in any good working relationship, engagement periods and marriages, have similar environments.
While we don't always agree with everyone at our place of work, we can learn to see their viewpoint, hear their side and hold it in a 'kind space' as their perception and belief. We don't need to believe it or take it on or do anything with it.
Holding their view in a 'kind space' is a little like a Cloud - you know that cyber-space place that holds files and folders for you. Well, part of your mind is like the Cloud - holding the 'other viewpoint' in a kind space.
When we practice 'seeing eye to eye' at work and at home, we become more tolerant HumanKind Beings. And if our partner practices seeing our side and holding it in a kind space, maybe, that soft view will help to ease the journey of getting along - as individuals and as a couple.
Practice makes perfect!
|Posted on September 10, 2015 at 7:40 PM||comments (0)|
A vow is a commitment, an affirmation and a guarantee.
In a wedding ceremony, a vow is something the couple says to one another, either their own words, from their heart, or traditional words that highlight what the couple is committing to uphold.
When couples write and then speak their own vows to one another, the room in which they speak their words, gets completely 'hushed'. You can hear a pin drop. Their words, which are rich in their own language and with their own feelings, makes a deep impression in those that are present to hear them. There is nothing better than to hear their heart speak like that.
Often couples write them on paper in their own handwriting and either hold them or ask me to hold them until that part of the ceremony arrives. A lot of couples are not used to speaking in front of people, let alone to speak word so dear to their own hearts. Yet they, and we who witness, are forever touched deeply and changed as well.
I encourage the couples who ask me for guidance to try to write their own words from their own hearts and feelings as a way to take the place of the traditional vows or to add to the ceremony as moments they can look into each others' eyes, slow down and really listen to one another.
It's beautiful. It's emotional. And it is a sacred, unique oath between them both, that in years to come, can be revisited and taken once again to re-affirm their commitment to marriage and to one another.
|Posted on August 15, 2015 at 10:30 AM||comments (0)|
Julia Child said once,
"The secret of a happy marriage is finding the right person. You know they're right if you love to be with them all the time."
Julia Child, the famous chef, didn't find love through relationship until her 30's - which was old given the times. Prior to being married to Paul, she only ate frozen foods and dared not enter the realms of 'real cooking'. It was through her passion to please her new husband, that she sought out the help of a school in Paris where they were living to help her navigate French Cooking 101. She was the only woman in the class, and American. However, if you knew Julia, you would know that she persisted and surpassed all expectation of her as an American living in Paris and her skill as a French Chef.
The 'kitchen was the soul of the house', she goes on the records as saying. And for she and Paul having a late life blossom, if the only two rooms in their flat were a kitchen and a bedroom, they'd be gloriously happy. Who knew Julia had that kind of passion?
The point of all this is to remind ourselves, that finding joyfulness in relationship is a matter of finding our passions and sharing them. Couples have different likes and passions and finding commonalities to 'stoke the fire' keeps a relationship health, alive and joyful.
Do you like cooking, do you like hiking, do you like travelling, do you like home projects?
What is your heart calling out? What can you do together to nurture your passions?
That's the key to a joyful relationship. Playing side by side and expressing your soul's desire - whether in the kitchen or elsewhere.
|Posted on July 30, 2015 at 11:35 AM||comments (0)|
Planning a wedding is a little like this quote from St. Francis of Assisi (the guy who loved animals)....
"Start by doing what's necessary; then do what's possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible."
The creating of the ceremony, starts off as a 'doing what is necessary' task. Okay, you start the process by searching for venues, officiants to marry you, caterers, locations, etc. You've accumulated pages and pages of saved url's (or notes).
Then you do what's possible given your budget, time constraints, location, etc. You eliminate some things and you choose what is most important and possible given the budget, etc.
Then you suddenly find yourself in the midst of doing the impossible - planning a singular day event - the most important milestone in your life practically. The day arrives and more impossible happens. You gaze in your loved one's eyes and see a future that you so many years ago, thought was only a dream and not possible. You watch your fiance reading their vows to you - the ones they wrote all by themself. You look around and see your friends and family smiling, crying and just being there for you and you know in your heart - and you think, "I'm living the possibilities in my life. Anything is possible, now."
Isn't Love Amazing?
|Posted on June 2, 2015 at 5:15 PM||comments (0)|
Pre-summer season holds a lot of busy-ness in our lives. With cooperating weather, we are out there exercising, gardening, biking and generally enjoying the season upon us. Along the way there may be some problems or obstacles that come into your life. After all, life would be a little boring otherwise ; ) So remember these wise words when those times knock on your door.
Life is simple. Everything happens for you, not to you. Everything happens at exactly the right moment, neither too soon nor too late. You don't have to like it... it's just easier if you do.
- Bryon Katie
|Posted on May 7, 2015 at 8:15 AM||comments (0)|
The pace is quickening for couples to make their commitments over the next few months.
And it is an exciting time to be part of so much love and respect they have for each other.
Many couples now are really getting involved in making their written ceremony unique. I encourage them to write their own vows using their words. Whether those words are funny, serious, light - it's all good as they reflect their honest feelings for one another and what drew them together.
And orchestrating how they imagine the day unfolding versus what blogs or wedding coordinators say it should be. If they don't want to be 'given away', they don't have to. If they want their procession to walk together up the aisle and back down, that's their choice.
Have fun with the design. The day will be gone and savoring each moment will make the memories last longer.
|Posted on February 1, 2015 at 4:15 PM||comments (0)|
I really do like what I do. And I feel fortunate to know it because my level of contentment and ease permeates every day and makes life truly meaningful and a gift.
I'm here for you. As a couple, if you want to have certain aspects included in your written ceremony, that is your perogative. It's your day and a special one that will ring out memories for a very long time. You WANT it to be 'your way'.
Recently, I've been hearing from couples who have interviewed me, that other officiants do it 'their way' and can be pretty rigid in the financial end of things. Some even have changed the written ceremony without permission from the couple and changed it on the wedding day.
I guess this stuff happens.
Rest assured that one of the things I uphold in every corner of my life is Honesty and Ethics. I value them and appreciate when others demonstrate those qualities when I use their services. What you and I agree to will be sealed and no changes will be made UNLESS you agree to them. I'm there as a guide, a witness as well as the Officiant. And I'm honored and humbled at that position that you are hiring me for.
So if you are searching for an Officiant, be ready to ask some questions as to what they uphold and honor. Ask the questions and listen to the answers. Make sure that what you want is what you are going to get. Be a wise 'consumer'.
The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability
to affect those around him positively. - Bob Marley
|Posted on December 29, 2014 at 2:35 PM||comments (0)|
Handling conflict in your love relationship is an ART.
You realize you both have differences - who likes this versus that - salt, no-salt, etc.
And differences create the natural tension that is inherent in everything on this Earth. It's a good thing.
Conflict is tension and any great creative piece has tension at some point in it - musical compositions have it, making furniture has it - anything worth making...has it. What you want to remember is that Conflict is a moment in time where tension is about to change to flow and release or from intensity to an ease. It's NATURAL.
By remaining honest and trusting during a tense moment, is truly the secret to riding out the storm of a conflict. Breathing certainly helps.
To say it well, I paraphrase from Pat Rodegast (author of Emmanuel's Book):
"Whenever there is confusion (tension is confusion), you know there is something that somebody (or two people), do not want to see...this does not mean it is worthy of fear. Enter into it. Here's a great possibility that just beneath turmoil there is a wonderful oneness that you are both still frightened of."
Approach conflict with the spirit of FINDING THE BEST SOLUTION. Give a little...bend a little...listen....keep your heart space OPEN.
|Posted on December 10, 2014 at 2:35 PM|
'Tis the season of gifts for others and also receiving gifts from others.
One can get lost in all the consumerism surrounding this season so it is important to take the time to slowly puruse your gifting.
Remember your budget. Buy for the other person instead of what you would like. Keep it simple and may be creative in the wrapping and presentation of it. Surprise them. Think 'out of the box'. Make it an adventure.
And when the time comes for you to receive, keep your heart open to the joy of the gift-giver having taken the time to give back to you.
As Mother Teresa said, "It's not how much we give; but how much love we put into giving."
Wishing you and your beloved blessings and much peace this holiday season.
Serving Berks, Montgomery & Lehigh Counties of Pennsylvania