Ordained Wedding Officiant Paula Mari Tepedino

Ordained Non-denominational Wedding Officiant serving PA Lehigh & Montgomery Counties 

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Positive Words and Inspiring Support

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Listen before you Walk

Posted on August 26, 2018 at 6:45 PM Comments comments (0)

I've heard a lot of beautiful music during a wedding ceremony and in particular, during the part, where the bride is walking down the aisle.

I've also heard a lot of music with lyrics that made me wonder if the couple had listened from start to end to the lyrics. Let's look at the song HAPPY. It was very popular last year. But if you read the lyrics it's not so HAPPY and it doesn't seem like something a bride would want to have on her special day. 

So before you choose that song you always hear on Spotify, carefully LISTEN to the lyrics or better still, look them up on Lyrics.com and read them. Then decide if that's the song for you to memoralize your special wedding day.

Empathy

Posted on May 22, 2018 at 3:45 PM Comments comments (0)

These days, it's sometimes hard to hear or see 'good news'. News that is positive. News that isn't slanted or biased in anyway. And if there is positive news on regular media TV it usually is deemed a small slot either before the nightly news ends or begins.

Our world needs more coverage on those that uphold Empathy. 

What is Empathy? Empathy is understanding not just from the 'head' level - from the heart level most of all. Understanding and feeling what another is going through or experiencing. It's about forgetting about your own 'story' and holding space for someone to express their feelings whether happy or sad about a situation. One becomes a 'witness' of sorts when one is being empathetic. You witness what someone is experiencing/saying/feeling and give them an opportunity to express that (as long as it is feeling safe and comfortable for you, that is).

The world needs more empathy and it is something that may have to be learned and practiced rather than an inborn skill.

It makes our personal world become more accepting as to the suffering or pain or even joy of another even though in that moment we are perfectly okay. Most of all as an empathetic person, you keep yourself and don't lose yourself in another's feelings so that you feel burdened in any way. It's about being there but not being taken over (energetically) and overwhelmed.

If more of us were taught the proper ways to handle being in Empathy, there would be more of it being practiced.

Practice empathy with your partner. Uphold Balance and stay the course.

Don't Look Back

Posted on October 30, 2017 at 9:00 AM Comments comments (0)

Simple advice when regrets haunt your memories is to stay calm, breathe and look forward.

Getting engaged to prepare for your marriage is a huge step in your personal growth. The romance may fade; the lessons will continue; and together you will learn how to navigate communication, compassion and patience. 

When you get into a 'tiff' during the preparation for your wedding (or afterwards), remember that it is an opportunity for growth. It's Lesson1 or Lesson 2 in your destination to a long-term relationship. Both of you will 'push each other's buttons', buttons that need oiling and replacing. All those 'old' habits of conditioned responses or old beliefs will have a spotlight on them. The best approach is with one of knowing that this lesson, too, shall pass and it will make your relationship stronger and more real. What has been hidden, will be exposed. What has been unspoken, will be said. That's the way of growing a marriage strong.

So don't look back at those 'tiffs' with regret. Stay the course and maybe next time, your lesson will be easier because you've learned how to approach your loved one in a way that supports growth not deterioration.

 

My encouragement is not to look back on what has happened, not to have any regrets. Regret is from the world of conditioning. What happened happened. We start over in each moment, here and now.

- Cheri Huber

What every groom-to-be needs to hear

Posted on July 9, 2017 at 10:40 AM Comments comments (0)

1.  Ask questions. Don't be afraid to ask questions of those you are considering to hire for your wedding day. It's the littlest things that can make a difference in how much you'll spend and how much stress you can avoid but being completely INFORMED.

2.  Shop around. Compare and research venues. Are you a golf-nut? Look at golf courses that are getting into the swing of things by making use of their spaces to host indoor/outdoor weddings. Like wine? Wineries can be gorgeous settings that are big enough to handle 100+ guests. Align with what you and your bride-to-be love and then match to the venue to it. Old barns, bed and breakfasts, arboretums, camps.

3.  Be available. To take the stress off your bride-to-be, answer questions and return calls and plan a time when you can get to together with your fiance to review new 'news'. 

4.  Make the Officiant feel 'welcome' on the day-of by introducing her/him to your family, the bridal party. It can make all the difference.

5.  Realize that there are two of you going through this day. Use each other to stay calm, smile a lot, keep it light and fun.

Preserving Love

Posted on February 8, 2017 at 10:45 AM Comments comments (1)

My father who was married to my mother for 65 years until she passed from leukemia 6 years ago knows how to preserve love. He asked me this the other day, "Paula, you know how to stay married?". And of course I said, "No, how, Dad, do you stay married?" And he said with a straight face, "Don't get divorced."

At first, I thought it was a joke. And he seems like one. Yet that is the answer. Don't get divorced. For him, no matter what, he stayed, mom stayed, they talked it out, fought, loved. Their marriage, for those of us outside of it, looked tumultous sometimes and very rocky, especially in the early days. And yet, seeing them sitting together at the kitchen table talking over coffee about their worries, their strifes, was the most endearing ever.

Sometimes, people are mean and violent and abusive. So use your best sense to know whether the marriage is done or not in those cases.

My parent's marriage wasn't like that. It had the normal ups and downs of everyday life - finance strains, raising children, savings/spendings, where to live.

And now, Dad as the widower, not married anymore, still preserves his Love for Mom, every day. I see him sharing more of his Love with his neighbors, cooking for them when they are sick - something he never did when Mom was alive. He shares his NY Post with the widow down the street who has tough times right now so she doesn't have to buy one. He's into feeding all the birds in the neighborhoods. He keeps that Love going in ways that amazes me everyday.

That, my dear friends, is true Love. It never dies. it never fades away. It remains even when form doesn't. Love. Preserve it Today.

Doing the Right Thing

Posted on August 30, 2016 at 4:30 PM Comments comments (0)

Doing the right thing is a saying we use to use when someone came through with honesty, extra help beyond what was expected, with no compensation.

It's something you may or may not see around much unless you really look. It's what the younger set these days would say would be 'old fashioned'. Yet, for me, and people like me, doing the right thing is a perennial - meaning it never dies or goes out of fashion. Like opening or holding a door for your loved one. That's an example of 'doing the right thing', that goes a long way for the one you are holding the door for. And our response will be 'Thank you.' 

I believe in upholding integrity, ethics and doing the right thing when it comes to serving - serving my clients, helping my students, and living the life of an officiant. I value those things. 

See if this month you can seek out those places and people who 'do the right thing' when it comes down the line to show up - in customer service, in general courtesies, in being helpful. I bet you'll find them in the most unlikely places and maybe, just maybe, doing the right thing will be trendy again.


When Nervous....Breathe!

Posted on July 15, 2016 at 8:05 AM Comments comments (0)

Officiant work is fun and meaningful. What I truly enjoy about serving people, is getting to know them: who they are, what they believe in, what their visions are, how they fell in love, how they see their marriage unfolding.

As a writer, crafting words that fit each couple, takes time and thought, so that every word is rich in descriptions that define the couple.

Although, the ceremony is completed within 10 to 20 minutes, it may seem like a LIFETIME to some couples who get nervous and self conscious by standing up in front of all their guests and family. It can be stressful!

So, my education in things like yogic breathing to stay calm and relaxed, comes in handy up at that altar or arbor. I often whisper to the couple to take some deep breaths.

Having some tissues on hand helps too, as tears do flow, either as a release from 'wow, we have finally arrived after all that planning', or sheer happiness.

Make sure when you choose an Officiant, you interview them, to see if they are a good fit to manifest your wedding day as you wish.

Navigating choice

Posted on May 31, 2016 at 5:10 PM Comments comments (0)

Life has so many levels of being and doing.

Figuring out how to navigate choices can be challenging for some of us.

Paulo Coelho, a introspective author, says it best here:

"Avoid those who believe they are stronger than you, because they are actually concealing their own fragility.

Stay close to those who are not afraid to be vulnerable, because they have confidence in themselves and know that, at some point in our lives, we all stumble; they do not interpret this as a sign of weakness, but of humanity.

Avoid those who seek friends in order to maintain a certain social status or to open doors they would not otherwise be able to approach.

Stay close to those who are interested in opening only one important door: the door to your heart. They will never invade your soul without your consent or shoot a deadly arrow through that open door.Friendship is like a river; it flows around rocks, adapts itself to valleys and mountains, occasionally turns into a pool until the hollow in the ground is full and it can continue on its way.Just as the river never forgets that it’s goal is the sea, so friendship never forgets that its only reason for existing is to Love other people.༺

♥ ༻ Paulo Coelho 



Love is a state of Being

Posted on May 31, 2016 at 5:10 PM Comments comments (0)

Love is a state of being. It isn't something you fall into, like a hole, or order from a menu. It is a natural state of being. All things are love in their truest pure state. Like a tree, standing there on the sidewalk, offering its shade, its foliage as fragrant air, it's strength as it endures over the years the storms, it changes without whining and complaining. When the time comes to drop leaves, the leaves drop, when the time comes to grow fruit/flowers, it grows. When the time comes to stretch its branches because more space becomes available, it stretches.

Always giving like a tree, in every state of being, is how Human Kinds need to be reminded to be. In a state of love, receptive to all, exposed to the bone with fragility, openness and pure beauty.



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Importance of Vows

Posted on February 4, 2016 at 1:10 PM Comments comments (0)

Vows have been traditionally part of many a commitment -whether that is being married or becoming a member in an organization.

The Vow is a verbal acknowledgement of 'staying the course' and living up to what is being promised. It's much more realistic to keep what one is promising to a simple form rather than have a page of 'I promise to....' It's challenging enough to commit to one vow let alone 20!

I recommend to couples that they imagine that for every word they put in their vow, it'll cost them $50 a word. This allows couple to sense that each word is precious and dear. They choose more carefully the words they use and keep their vows succinct. Simple, as our ancestors recommended, is best. Simple reminders of what we promise and commit to, and making sure, over the years, we re-visit these vows and make sure they are still precious and dear.


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